marriage: FAIL :

This is my final post on this blog….
I wanted to make it a tribute to my failed marriage…lol

Here are the Lyrics:
I should be ashamed for what you’ve done to me
It’s only happened because I let it be
But no more
You are not wrong, you who believe
Your will defines your destiny
But if [...]

one day…

I will learn that I shouldn’t ask questions that I don’t REALLY need the answer to. Or maybe I will just learn how to keep my mouth shut!

so I have waited this long but..

I wanted to write about what is going on in my life right now.
Thursday morning, Chris and I filed for divorce…in 60 days it will be final. Yesterday and today have been spent packing and moving me into my Brother and Sister-in-law’s new apartment. I will be staying there for the next 2 months and [...]

Hope to hold….

existence, not at all trivial but most commonplace…

Only in the awakening of the soul should one’s existence have consequential meaning. The senses revived after a  frightfully torpid state. The fragments of a heart begin fervently pounding after One which is unattainable at the set tempo.

Pulling themselves together, forming a whole. functioning. strong. unit.

Straining. Longing. Forever [...]

up in arms

something is shifting in the paradigm of my trivial existence.
as if there is a symphonic heartbeat were the cold relic of my heart once hoped.
hope being the key that was ripped by some despot from my grasp…now I find it dangling in front of me. calling out to me…taunting me even.
yet, I hope against hope, [...]

WOW!!!

this is my 100th post….hard to believe and kinda sad as well. simply cause I should have posted so much more by now…::sigh::
I am on a rollercoaster of emotion and decision. I know what I want…just not how to attain it. This fact is tearing away at me bit by bit….Something has to change. What [...]

UGH!!!UGH!!!UGH!!!UGH!!!UGH!!!UGH!!!UGH!!!UGH!!!UGH!!!UGH!!!UGH!!!UGH!!!UGH!!!UGH!!!UGH!!!UGH!!!
UGH!!!UGH!!!UGH!!!UGH!!!…….
UGH!!!
That is all…

Today

I woke up feeling different, really really different….I don’t know why.
It is back…the thing that was missing from my life…from my being.
I don’t even know what it was/is…but I just feel like me again. So strange.
I am ready to move forward..whatever that means and where ever that leads me.

Changes..

so after a lot of talk and some forward steps….Chris and I have decided that things aren’t over.
He said that the comment he made was because I have said the same of him. Now mind you I have…in a way. Once a long time ago, he asked me a very hard question….he asked why it [...]

Goodbye….

Looks like a divorce is in my future. I can’t say that I didn’t expect it, but to be told that the only way my husband will ever be able to follow God is without me really hurt. I guess it is OK, cause I feel like Papa is flushing my life out of all [...]